where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
