Well douche your snatch and let's go!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
