I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The struggles of a small town man whore
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
