so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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