mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
