I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
