I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
