i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
