I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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