this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
