Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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