AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
