i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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