whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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