Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
