It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
