And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
