Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
