Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I want a musical about memes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
