he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
