so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
