She's JV to your varsity
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
