apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
