She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
