She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
