she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
