omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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