Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
