Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
