I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
