it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
