ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
