i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
