OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
try to milk me bitch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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