the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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