Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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