Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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