weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
