hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
