Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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