Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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