i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
