those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
