So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
