So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
