i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize