We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
