North Korea, Best Korea!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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