what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Damn victory sex feels great
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
