"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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