There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
cat food counts as protein by the way
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Enjoy the penises
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
