well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
